Why are most men romantically challenged?

Why are most men romantically challenged? This question has gone round and round in my head over the years and I still can’t find the answer. Is it linked to the difference in our genes? Are we really from Venus and are they really from Mars? And if so, why is romance so scarce on Mars?

For most women, romance is like air; we need it to breathe. I know that not all women have the same definition of romance. This issue of individual personalities brings up the Golden Rule of Romance: Know thy woman! Men can forget about any packaged plan or list of “romantic things to do”. Some good ideas might be on a list, but just because it is there doesn’t mean it is right for the woman in their life. I for one would certainly be insulted if my loved one walked in on Valentine’s with a giant teddy bear for me. My immediate thought would be “Does he think I should go on a diet?“. But that doesn’t mean I don’t like romance, I love it.

For men it seems to be just the opposite. Instead of breathing romance naturally, romance is like an asthma attack to them. It chokes them, makes them panic and end up quite disorientated. As a result, few men seem to get it right. I can just see men’s faces seized with panic on the 13th of February at 11.59 when they suddenly realise that they have one minute left till valentine’s and they need to think of something to get their women… and quickly! Many men often do the wrong thing like invite you to the movies, only the film turns out to be Tomb Raider. With others, a romantic gesture often tends to be a very scheduled periodic action simply so they don’t get into trouble. If you get a delightful bouquet of flowers or a box of chocolates at a steady and regular rate you start to suspect that it is because their trusted electronic organiser beeped and flashed “don’t forget to get flowers today!”

What the romantically challenged man needs is a manual on romance similar to what you get with a playstation or a multigym. Or maybe if they could take romance apart like an engine, clean the points and plugs and put it back together—then they’d get it. Well, there is no ‘Owners Manual’ for romance so just what can we women do to feed our romantic urges, especially with Valentine’s round the corner?

Unfortunately, there is no school of romance for men to attend, no reliable books to read, nor are there safe places to practice their romantic skills. Even more unfortunate for us, men tend to learn about romance from other men! But the only true classroom is the real world where there are real women who have to put up with their struggling Don Juans. Sigh… It seems that it is up to us to keep explaining and re-explaining romance to them.

So, to all you men out there who may be reading this, try to understand: Women just need romance; for most of us, it is who we are. We like to receive roses from the roadside vendor for no reason at all, and we also want you to feel excited when you offer it! We want you to expect nothing in return no matter how you’ve expressed your love. A sincere and heartfelt romantic gesture means “I love you”. And it is impossible for us to hear that too many times or to fail to get excited with the many different ways you can express those three simple and most important words.

Photo by Hamann La from Pexels